A while back, I wrote this entry pondering what in the heck one must do to get a seat upgrade on a flight, apart from the normal procedure of “buying” it with airline loyalty points. My problem with that is that I fly only a couple of times a year, and I pretty much have to choose the cheapest possible flight rather than follow one particular airline to gather lots of points. And then, having a scattering of points with every major airline, the cursed things usually expire before I get anywhere close to having enough to use for an upgrade. So that whole system pretty much has me shaking my fist to the sky in frustration. But taking those transatlantic flights even a couple of times a year over the past 12 years is still plenty frequent enough to make me slightly obsessed with this problem.
Well, there’s an update: I’ve just discovered at least ONE reason why I’m not getting upgraded. Gwyneth Paltrow’s latest edition of GOOP (yes, I read GOOP, so you can stop snickering now. It’s full of all sorts of interesting tips and advice! Seriously!) is all about flying. And here’s what they have to say about upgrades:
One of Our Sources Reports: “On a Virgin flight back to Heathrow, I spotted one of the staff’s monitors that read, ‘Look for well-dressed people to upgrade.’ The staff then began looking around for well-dressed people to upgrade. I’m not saying this will happen every time, but if you are looking to get upgraded, it helps to look smart.”
First of all, are you freaking kidding me?! THAT is your criteria for an upgrade??!!! I mean, maybe this is just snotty, posh Virgin Airlines’ method for upgrades, but if it applies to ALL airlines…then secondly…Oh, sh*******t. I’m screwed. I am never, EVER, going to get a seat upgrade. My fate is sealed, because let me tell you…when I am preparing to embark on a transatlantic flight in COACH, the last thing on my mind is “looking smart.” I mean, I don’t go for sweats, but I’m not sure that whatever ensemble I’ve thrown together with comfort in mind would pass for “smart.”
Maybe I can still get struck by lightning on the tarmac….*
*Although I still have no idea whether this would qualify me for a seat upgrade.